Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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