a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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