people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
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I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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