we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
