Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
