I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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