Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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