Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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