Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
