he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
