how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I love having hate sex.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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