White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
