she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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