...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
