Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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