apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
