FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
