How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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