This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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