you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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