the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
