i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
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I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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