I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Green mimosas i think yes
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
