Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
