I seem to have left my pride at pride
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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