i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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