Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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