so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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