you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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