2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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