I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
