my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i need some magic done to my vagina
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
