no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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