hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
