i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
