We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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