I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
