We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
