I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize