I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
you never un-have a 4some
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
