you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
