If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
