Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize