yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I still have a little drunk in my system
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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