I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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