i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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