I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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