Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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