i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
