i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You're a waste of cheezeits
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
