Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
