I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
