im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
