margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
