oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
