he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
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To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
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You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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