Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize